What pajamas will you be wearing for the Big Sleep?

My mom has this Post-It note on the fridge that lists the hymns she wants sung at her funeral. In order. Now since she’s the sort who tends toward intense advanced planning, this is not surprising. But as I have a big funeral set piece to write for the novel I’m revising, the subject’s been on my mind.

Many people have specific wishes about their funeral. Now I can understand dictating what you want done with your body or ashes or whatnot, but isn’t the purpose of a funeral for those mourning you…not you? The big request I see people talking about is those who want the funeral to be a party or celebration or some such hogwash. They don’t want people crying or being sad or anything like that.

Well screw you dead folks, the funeral is for us to mourn as we see fit. And in my mind, there is no better way for me to deal with a loss than to dress up in my old black suit, go to the funeral home, and then eat poorly prepared chicken and Jell-O salad afterward.

I jest, of course, mostly, but it does raise the question of who a funeral should be concerned with. Do any of you have specific funeral wishes? Would a beach volleyball tournament with strippers and beer kegs really help you through the mourning process better?