Lost in Front

LOST is getting to be worse than Amway. First it took my mother, a mild-mannered TV fan who was never the sort to jump on the fan bandwagon for any show not on TLC, and turned her into one of those creepy people who see LOST symbolism in their grocery lists and dental records. She tapes every episode on the off chance she’ll need to go back and hunt for clues she missed. Every episode is watched with the Closed Captioning on so she can see the words as well as here them in case there’s a clue.

But now its affecting my friends. One friend, about as far from a TV junkie as you can get (she didn’t even have cable until recently), is now so addicted to the show that she hangs out in LOST internet forums! That’s not the worst part though. While hanging out in these forums, she got the bright idea to get a MySpace page and a blog. And I knew none of this.

Last I knew, she would kind of roll her eyes and pat me on the head condescendingly when I would talk about blogs and my blog buddies. But last night, I was over her place for dinner and she was talking about this new friend of hers and I asked her where she met him and she said the Internet. I almost fell off my chair.

I think Congress needs to look into this show with a critical eye. Forget the NSA and what they might be gathering, this threat is far worse. If we really want to keep Iran from developing nuclear weapons, give all the Mullahs a MySpace page and the LOST DVD’s and we’ll never hear from them again.