These aren’t a few of my favorite things

Following in the tradition of such luminary ranter as Jim Winter and Ray Banks I’ve decided to use my bloggy pulpit to rant about two of my biggest pet peeves. I’m back at school now and the one things that’s always irritated me at whatever school I’ve attended is these people with backpacks that have little wheels on them that they drag along behind them. Okay, if you’re an airline pilot and you have a huge suitcase to drag from concourse A to Concourse Zimbabwa and you’re still hung over from your last flight, maybe you could use some wheels. But for a freshman with a notebook, a textbook and maybe a pen is it really that hard to throw the bag over your back??? And dragging a big suitcase across a smooth airport floor is a heck of a lot easier than pulling a rickety little Walmart backpack with $.02 Chinese wheels across broken concrete sidewalks and up stairs. But they’re everywhere! I don’t get it. It’s not like it’s a status thing. Nobody looks at these people and goes, “Hey look, that guy must be rich or famous, he’s dragging a little backpack behind him on wheels. Poor me and my padded shoulder straps and sturdy back support.”

And then there’s my doozy pet peeve: people who back into parking spaces.

This is just stupid. Are they doing it so they can have an easy time pulling out of the spot after their shopping trip? If so, don’t they realize it takes a lot longer to back INTO a parking space than to back OUT of a parking space. Backing out involves maybe one long turn of the wheel while in reverse. Just go slow and look for small children to hit…I mean miss. But backing into a space involve complex mapping logorithms and stunt level driving. Most often the nose of the vehicle is left sticking out into the lane because the boob driving was too scared of backing into the car behind him. The best excuse for this assinine habit is people who say they do it because they can’t back out of a parking spot. THINK ABOUT THAT PEOPLE. Argh. Idiots. I think it’s just the ultimate in pomposity. “Look at me, I scratch my balls, drink cheap beer and don’t have any teeth, but I have the skill to back my truck into a parking spot.” These are also, inevitably, the people who race out of that same parking lot at Mach One right in front of me while I’m mocking the ass behind me who is backing into a space. The only people who rank lower on this food chain are the ones who park over the middle line taking up two spaces so they don’t have a car on either side of them to scratch it. Just for fun though when I had my Geo Metro (approximatley the same size as a go cart) Id squeeze in next to those cars anyway and exit through the back hatch door.