The Judas Goatee

For the first time in my 30 years on this Earth I have facial hair. This might sound monumental until you realize I was really only capable of growing facial as of about three years ago. I’ve always had light hair color so when my facial hair grows darker, it does so in little patches and I end up looking like the guy in Team America: World Police who has bits of cloth pasted to his face to form a beard. Or even worse, I look like Stuart.

I’ve also never been a big fan of facial hair on myself. I think I look best with short hair and a clean shaven face, I tend to look younger that way and at my age I’m looking for any edge I can find, especially in a college town. But the new lady friend digs facial hair so I’m giving it a try. I still think it looks scruffy and ragged but I want to see if I can at least grow it to full maturity. I’ve also noticed I have no idea how to care for facial hair. I’m used to one fell swoop with the electric razor (aren’t those little babies a godsend) and that’s it. But how do I trim this beast? Maybe Stuart should write a manual for the beardy rooks like me.

I tried to take some pictures of the goatee to post here, first with my camera phone and then with a digital camera but nothing comes out right and they mostly look like mug shots.

3 thoughts on “The Judas Goatee

  1. A lot of shavers have a beard trimmer thing on the back. Much like hair clippers on Grade 0, if you just run it like you would the razor over your chin expecting it to merely trim as the name suggests, you’ll be disappointed to find yourself clean-shaven. The trick is to kind of wave it across the top of your face fungus, chopping it shorter but not actually getting rid of it.You can use a comb to ensure an even length, but I find it’s more trouble than it’s worth.Dear god, I’m giving personal grooming tips on Bryon’s site. Next will be musical theatre critique and then all hope will be lost!

  2. They look like mug shots … and you didn’t put them up? Here?Grooming Tip 2:Getting a good beard going involves waiting out the awkward and fuzzy stage. You can’t sculpt something until you have enough clay.

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