Monster Meh

Saturday night Becky and I went to the Guinness World Record largest haunted house and for my money, the only thing really scary was the admission charge. We dropped $20 to walk around an old warehouse in Pontiac for an hour being chased by foam monsters and disoriented by strobe lights. Granted, some of the special effects were pretty cool, but I think an actual warehouse downtown Pontiac (or Detroit for that matter) with no one else around might be a much scarier attraction. Becky truly enjoyed herself though and had fun with a running commentary of the monsters and exhibits.

As I was wandering through the place though, the really sick part of my mind started thinking of ways to make a haunted house that truly scared people, and let’s just say my mind went a few places I’m not comfortable admitting to (and this from the guy who wrote DONKEY SHOW). But haunted houses are like horror movies to me, meaning they
don’t scare me at all. At most, the make me jump or scream with gimmicks or cheap frights, but not genuine fear. This is sad because I really like to be scared but for my money, roller coasters are better at getting my fear juice going than some old warehouse decorated like a Halloween prop shop.

So what about you? Are you a fan of haunted houses or do you wish somebody would set up a mysterious house on the edge of town where they invited real ghosts and chain saw murderers and such to really scare you?