Friendly Fire

There needs to be some sort of universal satisfaction survey that can be filled out after a date. This form would be much like the cards you find at restaurants that have a list of areas where you rate the date from good to bad. And then at the end there would be a box to check if either party was interested in another date.

This would eliminate a lot of agony.

Of course, it would also eliminate a good majority of fiction that was created during this period of agony over a date. In theory, part of the waiting is suppossed to be part of “the game,” part of the fun. I hate games, and in general, I hate fun. This would probably be easier for me if I was any good at reading women or their body language. Sadly, I’m an absolute illiterate when it comes to women and their signals. They could be waving me in with bright orange cones like a runway attendant and I’d still wonder whether they were really interested or not.

My current confusion though doesn’t neccissarily revolve around whether a girl is interested, I’m pretty sure she’s interested, it’s what she’s interested in. I have this nasty habit of only attracting girls who want to be my friend. Now this isn’t the whining of someone who has had a couple girls he liked say they only want to be friends. No, this is the plea of a man who has seen a pattern develop over more than 15 years of meeting an attractive girl, having a connection with the attractive girl and then waiting a year or more before asking out said girl at which point she drops the friend bomb.

Now granted, in the early stages much of this was my fault. I would either wait to long to ask a girl out, or I’d pick girls who obvioulsy had no interest in me romantically, or any of a thousand other possible mistakes. But in the last few years it has grown to crisis proportions. I really do meet a girl and sense and instant connection. And more importantly, people around me sense an instant connection. I’ll start hanging out with the girl and since we have so much in common and seem to be getting along well, people assume we’re dating. And then I get the idea to ask the girl on a date. And she acts shocked that I have any kind of romantic interest in her.

This has happened so many times I’ve just come to expect it and sadly, I’ve never been disappointed.

I figured as I got older this wouldn’t happend as much. I mean I think I’m pretty obvious about my intentions. Subtlety has never been one of my strong suits. The only times I haven’t had this problem were when I was younger and you started off makingv out with a girl and then moved to the “dating” stage later, or when I used online dating. My experiences with online dating are for another post (or frankly, another novel) but at least everyone’s intentions were clear. I wasn’t in the friends room, I was in the Let’s Get Serious About This room. And I wouldn’t be surprised if someday someone developed a satisfaction survey for online dating. Hmmm, maybe I should develop it. It will give me something to think about instead of obsessing about dating…